There Will Be Scars: When God Says Wait

Skin is amazing. It is flexible, yet strong enough to hold us together. It tells us if we're hot or cold, if we're experiencing pain or pleasure.
It tells stories. A tan says that you've been out in the sun. A blush betrays embarrassment or attraction (often at the same time)
Scars tell stories as well.
We don't choose them, but they serve as reminders of what you've gone through. Scars can be a badge of honor. "You should have seen the other guy!"
Sometimes, God allows us to become scarred.
I have more details about the surgery, which sparked all these thoughts about scars.
The operation will take eight hours, (originally it was six) and it's been moved up a day; October 20!
The hospital stay is double what we thought it would be. Now the doctor is saying 10-14 days.
I found out about the muscle, nerve and skin grafts. I'll have a five inch scar on my right shoulder blade. (News to me!) My foot will look . . . interesting.
I'm adjusting to the information. It's a process; tears are involved. I'm walking towards being okay.
Now, onto the other thing that's been occupying the space between my ears lately:
Healing.
A few Sundays ago, I was prayed over, several times. It was awesome! I love being in God's presence, and I want to be perfectly clear that I fully believe in, and receive His healing.
Over the course of my cancer journey, I have been prayed over, anointed, and cancer rebuked.

Sometimes, God says no.
Sometimes, God says wait.
Sometimes, He wants our trust.

I don't know what His timeline is. I know He has the power to heal, and He might, maybe the night before the surgery! I don't know.
Right now, the lump is still in my foot. I am in pain every day, the biting-your-pillow kind. I have prayed that it would go away.
It hasn't.
I trust God, and I see His hand EVERYWHERE, all over my life!
I'm struggling physically, but in lucid moments, I wouldn't change what has happened.
My faith is not dependent on when I get healed.
Please, by all means pray for me. Pray with me! But, if my journey is the long dark road, I'm going to need hugs and visits, too.
Much love,
Esther